Here are a few of Deano’s short stories.
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs left on her head. “Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmmm,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had her best day, so far! The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “Yahoo!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”
A certain young chap named Bill Beebee
Was in love with a lady named Phoebe.
“But,” said he, “I must see
What the wedding fee be,
Before Phoebe be Pheobe B. Beebee.”
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Now Read This:
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“Ladle Rat Rotten Hut”
From the Anguish Languish, by Howard L. Chace, (c) 1956
Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch off lodge, dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, and fur disk raisin, pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut’s murder colder inset.
“Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter and shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stoper torque wet strainers!”
“Hoe-cake, murder,” resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten, and tickle ladle basking an stutter oft.
Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.
“Wail, wail, wail!” set disk wicket woof, “Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?”
“Armor goring tumor groin-murder’s,” reprisal ladle gull. “grammar’s seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles.”
“O hoe! Heifer gnats woke,” setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf,”Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den — O bore!”
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder’s nut cup and gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. “Comb ink, sweat hard,” setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, and stud buyer groin-murder’s bet.
“O Grammar!” crater ladle historically, “Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!”
“Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard,” setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.
“O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!”
“Battered small your whiff, doling,” whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.
“O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!”
Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull’s lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut and garbled erupt.
MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.
“No person stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.”